Stream of Sentience

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 00:11:01 GMT

says "People who welcome criticism have the ironic attribute of needing to be criticized less; because they learn from what they hear."

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 04:47:23 GMT

points out libertarian journalist John Stossel being nagged by the four petty, self-centered hosts of The View: http://bit.ly/5eabE

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 04:45:22 GMT

what the hell

Tue, 26 May 2009 21:53:39 GMT

thinks all the people upset by Obama's supreme court nomination should recall: McCain promised to do worse, from a Constitutional standpoint.

Mon, 25 May 2009 19:47:23 GMT

is endlessly amused by this expression of the Law of Unintended Consequences http://ping.fm/Aequr

Wed, 20 May 2009 19:24:15 GMT

wonders why myspace has a Remember Me checkbox for login, if it's still going to make you log in every time you visit

Tue, 19 May 2009 01:47:48 GMT

hates it when some application is chiming to tell him something, but doesn't pop anything up, so he doesn't know what the hell it means.

Thu, 14 May 2009 01:33:39 GMT

got 900+ hits on http://ping.fm/9c0SE through stumbleupon

Wed, 13 May 2009 18:09:56 GMT

gets fed up with wordpress' inconsistent wysiwyg interface, and switches to editing his next blog entry as html

Tue, 12 May 2009 22:03:33 GMT

The Big Bang Theory Does Not Represent Science: http://ping.fm/FGxhH

If You Use Artificial Sweetener Packets, You're a Goofball.

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 04:01:59 GMT

Yes, I realize I am mocking 60% of coffee drinkers or something, but that's their own problem.

It is astonishing how many people seem to have the delusion that using Equal or Splenda in SOME way actually scratches their caloric intake.

The utterly goofy part of this is that a packet of sugar is four grams. It contains no more than fifteen calories. The metabolistic boost you get from the coffee is many times greater than that. Fifteen calories is insignificant, considering how many calories you consume per day, even on a diet. Even a person on a low-carb diet is supposed to have 120 calories per day of "net carbs". A packet of sugar is laughably below the radar.

Now this would just be a cute little bit of overkill, for people who use equal or splenda in addition to actually watching their calories or carbs overall. But it gets utterly laughable with most people, for whom such utterly meaningless gestures are their dietary regimen.

There are people who actually drink soda for supper, but make sure they get synthetic sweetener in their coffee for breakfast. They save 15 calories, but have no qualms with the 200+ calories of sugar later in the day.

Not that people who drink diet soda with their otherwise un-regulated meals are being much more sensible.

Note that I'm actually NOT an advocate of calorie-control dieting. I think that most people would be better off increasing their caloric output, not convincing their body they're in a famine by engaging in some weight-loss diet, and thus setting their body's target amount of body fat HIGHER.

But if one is going to try to restrict their calories, abstaining from 15 whole calories of sugar in their coffee is an utterly meaningless way to pretend to do it.

Footnote: Oh, and don't feel too left out, Sweet & Low users. Anyone voluntarily injesting bitter, potentially carcinogenous saccharine after all these years is probably just a creature of habit, and doesn't really count in this diatribe. It's a whole separate kind of goofiness.

Monogamy is a Contract...If You Don't Put Out, Don't Complain When They Seek It Elsewhere

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 20:14:15 GMT

Hmmm...I'm so pithy, I could just stop with the title of this post, " 'nuff said"

But how could I resist pontificating further?

To clarify:

Monogamy is an agreement, that goes "if you do not have sex with anyone else, I will be your lover".

Few, if any, would agree to a monogamous relationship (ahead of time) with someone who said "I don't plan to actually have sex with you, for months or years at a time; it shall be completely at my own whim, or my own sex drive".

And yet some people are so hypocritical as to stop having sex with their mates, and not do anything else FOR their mates to make up for it (give them oral, for example), yet act outraged if they find out their mate eventually went elsewhere for sex.

The person who "cuts off" the sex, for any significant span of time, is literally cheating on their mate, by definition.

Now if this is just a casual dating sort of monogamy, then obviously the person cheated upon (by withheld sex) should just break up. There's not a lot of excuse for staying in the relationship and cheating back by having external sex.

But if the wrongdoer did not reveal this tendency until the courtship phase was over, so that there are great entanglements of property, children, or whatever, and THEN cut off the sex/intimacy, then it's unfair to expect the victim to sacrifice everything, over that one issue...but also unfair to leave them hanging.

Imagine if a company's entire business were founded upon the need for another company's services. When it started, it chose that other company to be the supplier of all of its needs, because the other company promised to do so. Then, suddenly, the supplier stops giving out one of the necessary services or goods, yet demands that the monthly payments for the thing withheld keep coming in.

The business getting screwed may not be able to easily find a replacement for ALL of its needs. But it most certainly should stop paying for the thing not supplied.

Monogamy is payment for the sexual relationship. Even if still entangled with the contractee on other issues, if sex is no longer being supplied, then it should not be paid for with monogamy.

Mote that this is entirely separate from polyamory:

If you are entangled in an ostensibly monogamous relationship, and your mate cuts you off, you are within your rights to seek sex elsewhere, but it's not polyamory unless your mate knows, and consents. Polyamory is always consensual.

Mid-Year New Year's Celebration.

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 17:35:01 GMT

January first is a very silly date for the new year to be celebrated, because the "year" in question is the earth's orbit, and on January 4th we are halfway through it, not just starting it.

The earth will reach aphelion, our farthest orbital apsis around the sun, on July 7th. That is when it reachest its farthest point in orbit, and at a given moment pauses its outward movement and starts to fall back toward the sun.

This is also its moment of slowest movement, in orbit.

Definitely the time to count as the "start" of the orbit, and therefore the start of the year.

I'm going to start celebrating the actual new year, too.

Oat-a-Roni?

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 16:27:43 GMT

In conversation just now, I was noting that people (probably needlessly) avoiding gluten can have, for supper, potatoes, rice, various beans...and then realized that one glaring exception is oats.

There are no common oat dishes, for supper. Not like mashed potatoes, or rice as the carb of the main course, et cetera. There are rice noodles, there is potato bread (which is actually mostly wheat), you can have yams or sweet potatoes. Of course the largest part is wheat products, like noodles, bread, et cetera...

But, really, there's no popular dish using oats as the main carb/starch.

How odd.

Take that, Cat Macros!

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 22:01:17 GMT

I am of the theory that chicks like "cat macros" to contain verbal incompetence because they are genetically forced to find ignorance "cute", on order to keep them from strangling their children.
Don't even get me started on what kind of pathology makes them obsess over Ann Geddes' bizarre, cannibalistic pics.

Someone Ate Oatmeal...

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 00:27:13 GMT

I have had a quaker parrot, Oatmeal, for eleven or twelve years, now. He was allowed to hang out on the front porch, as well as in the house.

This had seemed safe enough, for a long time, especially since he picks on the household cats, but apparently one of the neighborhood falcons got brave enough to swoop in and snatch him, as evidenced by a pile of feathers and a sternum.

I don't have much to say, he was as much a member of the family one can have without getting that crazy cat lady sort of "child substitute" lack of perspective on things...including being as annoying as family members are, of course. I'm also feeling rather vengeful, and am going to put some effort into determining if a specific predator has our yard in its territory, then possibly buy a pellet gun.

Anyway, I have a web page I made for him, years ago, listing his sixty-word vocabulary with explanations. It can serve as an adequate memorial, as it captures something of his personality...

The Vocabulary of a Quaker Parrot

This isn't a pet vanity page. Instead, it is an example of how much a parrot can learn of human language.
The parrot, Oatmeal, is a Quaker parrot. He has a vocabulary of at least three different categories:
Words or phrases that he understands. These he applies correctly and even uses correctly in abstract ways.
Words or phrases which he knows will get certain results, but does not necessarily understand abstractly.
Words or phrases he just knows how to say.
Oatmeal was born in August, '96. Quaker parrots are small, about the size of a medium conure. They are, however, "one of the top ten talkers", though I don't know who originated that factoid. They tend to become attached to whomever is around them a lot, unless you're careful to constantly expose them to new people. If they become too fixated on one person, they will tend to be possessive, and thus try to bite any "intruders". Other than that, they have fantastic personalities (for a bird), and are very social and friendly.
It should be noted that, with the exception of "Oatmeal" (his name), phrases listed are not seen as constructions of specific words, he treats them like long words. But he does occasionally string pre-learned words and phrases together in ways suspiciously like abstract phrase creation.

Words He Fully Understands
Food -
This is usually only applied to his regular food. Says it when the food is being added, or occasionally when he's out. Will usually say it when the food bag is being handled, even if he already has food.
Cookie -
any food he actually likes. Gatorade is sometimes called cookie, because it tastes better than normal water. He will say cookie even if he has procured the treat without having to request it.
Mmmmm! -
He makes this sound mainly when the treat he's eating is really good. It was picked up because it was said to him when he got especially excited over something he was eating. Gatorade gets this treatment, too, as it may be his favorite ingestible substance.
Water -
Anything liquid. Getting a bath qualifies as a time to say "water". His primary cage has also gained the nickname of Water, because the bottle in his secondary cage had broken, and now he associates the primary cage with "water". This is an interesting abstraction. He definitely knows water to be liquid...he says it when he sees fluids, even if he doesn't want any. But he also calls the cage, and nothing else, Water, as noted above.
Bath -
He doesn't say this very often, especially if the bath is via squirt bottle, though that's his favorite method. He says it when he's in the shower with KAZ, though. No, it's platonic. He sits on the shower curtain and watches, commenting on "water" and "bath". Recently he has decided it may even be safe to sit on a finger and get exposed to the water directly.
Out -
Out means out...of the cage. He'd become a little too destructive to be out unsupervised, though of late he's done better. He says this in order to get let out, but also says it when he's entering or leaving the cage on his own, when the door's propped open. He will chant this when he's really determined to be released. One must spell the word "out" around Oatmeal, especially if he's not out, or else he gets quite excited about it.
No! -
A firm No will get him to stop whatever he's doing, and to try to be clever about sneaking back to do it...waiting until one looks away, et cetera. He will now say it when he's being prevented from doing something, or when he wants to stop something from being done. A calm No informs him that whatever he's asking for won't get done. he usually gives up for a few minutes.
Stop it! -
Unlike "No!", he will use this one himself, when something unpleasant is happening to him. This started because he was told "stop it" when being squirted with the squirtgun (for damaging things, harassing other birds, or doing the shriek he learned from the Nanday conure), but now he'll say it when grabbed and held in a hand to be inspected, or waved away from something, even though it was never used this way on him. He will also respond to it as he does to "No!"
Kiss -
It is tempting to assign a lot of abstract value to this one, because he correctly identifies humans kissing, but (without prompting) has added some surprisingly abstract social expressions. He also makes the standard kissing noise and a pulling back motion right after he says it, unless he's simply commenting on a display of affection.
Hello -
When he says this, he bobs his head, a social behavior birds often do when first approaching each other. This is interesting because he wasn't taught that head bobbing was linked to saying hello. He also, as a simple response, says hello to the telephone when it rings, which doesn't involve head bobbing, and is obviously just a simple response to the fact that the humans do it. When one peeks into the room and is seen for the first time, the most likely comment will be "hello", though he may not say it very often when constantly in sight.
Groom me -
He learned this because he was taught to say it when he was being groomed (fingers preening his head and neck)...but he spontaneously started saying it when he was grooming another bird or a human, and even when seeing humans grooming each other or other animals.
Awwwe! -
the sound one makes when they see something really adorable. Oatmeal does this when he's being especially nicely groomed, having picked it up because he was cooed over when he was especially fluffy from enjoying being groomed.
[purring] -
When Oatmeal was about four months old, KAZ was gone a lot and Oatmeal was allowed run of the apartment at all times. He was adopted as a kitten by the year-old cat, Tamarin. She would cuddle him between her paws and lick the top of his head, and he would groom her ears, face, and whiskers. During this time he picked up the purring sound, and especially gentle/intimate (non-sexually) grooming sometimes gets him to make short purrs.
It's OK -
Said to him when he was a baby, when covering him with a hand or chin much like a mother covering a baby bird. He says this when making the same motion, or being consoled, or when upset or agitated, even if he doesn't allow one to touch him. Second thing he learned after Hello.
Come Here -
If he feels like it, he'll respond to this by flying over. Always responds to it by stepping up, if the finger's right there and was being ignored. Always looks up and gets interested when it's said. Will say it when he's been left alone in his cage for a long time and someone goes by.
Doo dee doo! -
Singing, dancing. He now does this when music is played, even if nobody is visible...which he picked up on his own. He was taught to doo-de-doo back and forth with humans; doing it to music was his own invention. He includes a great deal of head bobbing.
La Lala La Laaa -
Singing, like an opera singer or like that famous clip from Babe.
Meow meow meow meow -
The Meow Mix song. Nobody has any idea how he initially learned this, but he's been encouraged because it's cute.
KAZ? -
This is used almost exclusively to get KAZ' attention. Not Nichole's. It's said with exactly the tone Nichole uses to call KAZ from across the house. This was picked up without any conscious attempt to teach it.
Nichole -
Usually used for Nichole, but sometimes when she's not visible. Was learned from Nichole, so the idea's a little messed up, whereas KAZ did not help teach "KAZ?".
Good bird! -
Any major accomplishment, originally learned because it was said when he actually deigned to "come here" via flying. It was assumed that this was just a response word, but he now says it when he's being groomed or comforted and is really happy about it.
Response Words
No Barking -
He says this when the dog barks, or an animal on TV does something similar, or a human makes a bark-like sound.
Lie down
Sit
Good boy
Stay
Come here -
while No Barking is specific to barking, anything involving the dog or even a commanding tone toward another animal will send him into this litany of phrases, in random order.
[Laughter] -
Clearly knows this is a social sound. Normally will only do it in response to laughter, or if he's just done something for attention, or if he's just successfully picked on another animal. He has perfected both the KAZ chuckle and the Nichole laugh.
[Coughing] -
He has no idea what it's for, but he'll join right in. This was particularly funny (except to Nichole) when Nichole was experiencing a lot of morning sickness, overheard from the other room. You'd hear her coughing, and then the parrot chiming in, with a perfect imitation.
[sneeze] -
Nichole's high-pitched squeak of a sneeze is now echoed by Oatmeal. At first it wasn't obvious what this sound was, until it was noticed that he did it mainly after Nichole sneezed.
Oatmeal want -
this is a weird one. He knows that his name has something to do with him...and he says this before making a request. If you say "what does Oatmeal want?" he does not usually repeat it, but says the name of what he wants...usually a material thing like a cookie (treat) or water.
Eep! -
This was a game between KAZ and Nichole, where whenever Nichole said Eep, KAZ, who felt that Eep had an infinite number of meanings, would respond "Aloha" (because it's a very ambiguous term in Hawaiian) Since Oatmeal wants KAZ' attention above all other things, he only says "Eep", thus getting KAZ to say "Aloha". He seems to expect "aloha" in response, and has never bothered to say it himself.
[ring bell] -
Oatmeal will, aside from doing this when he's bored, respond to someone stirring liquid in a glass (which produces a ringing sound) by going over and ringing his bell. Various other ringing noises sometimes get this response, too, especially the phone, though usually he just says "hello" or "hi" when the phone rings.
[meow] -
This was picked up, also, back in the days where he was adopted by Tamarin as a kitten. He knows several different meows, in fact, though it's not clear as to if he imagines any special difference between them.
Bander -
He says this, the name of the ferret, whenever the ferret or some other furry non-cat is getting attention.
Little Bander -
Same as Bander
Tamarin -
This is the name of The World's Smallest Cat, who is about the size of a four month kitten, yet is around three years old. He doesn't know it's her name, but he has heard it said enough that he says it. In fact, at the time of this entry it is his new favorite thing to say for no apparent reason, a position occupied at times by "really?", "philately", "Are you a good bird?", et cetera.
[english-sounding noises] -
As with many hookbills, he has learned the general sound of human chatter, and now will join in to a conversation with his own aimless blabber, as he seems to feel the humans are doing.
Hello Nichole -
Nichole obviously taught him this one. He usually will say it in response to "Hello Oatmeal"
Hello Oatmeal -
When Nichole departs from the rules for teaching Oatmeal to understand words, there is often some confusion. He occasionally says "hello Oatmeal" when trying to get attention.
Ka-Chunk -
He has decided that the closing of any door must be anticipated and expressed aurally. He does the sound of one of the door of one of the bathrooms, but will do this sound any time someone gets ready to close a door.
[sigh] -
Oatmeal can be exasperating...so he's learned to sigh, as he can induce a sigh from KAZ or Nichole so often. He'll do this in response to their sighing. It's interesting to note that "exasperate" comes from words which mean mean "to make someone sigh"
Up -
go(ing) upstairs
Silly Comments
Philately -
it was just something silly to say to him, and he picked it up.
Baby! -
Because Nichole is pregnant, this was said a lot around him, and when he repeated it he found it gets a lot of positive response.
Really? -
Said to him sarcastically, when he was saying something incomprehensible. Of course he picked up on it, including the sarcastic tone.
Are you a good bird? -
there's no way he could understand this abstract concept, but he does say it mainly when he's being a "bad bird". Like wanting desperately to bite Nichole, who cruelly steals attention from KAZ, when it should be given to Oatmeal instead.
[smedley cuss-mumbling] -
When really "angry", usually because someone other than him is getting KAZ' attention, or he's not being allowed to destroy some useful object, he will pace around and make angry-sounding mumbling noises, much like the dog in the Tom Slick cartoons, as if he were cursing under his breath. It seems to be related to the english-sounding noises, in concept, but is radically different in the phonemes used.
What's that? -
KAZ would sometimes say this when he didn't understand Oatmeal's attempts to say something new. It became one of the new things he was attempting to say, which was pretty funny when it became obvious.
What's this? -
Despite the fact that it departs from the plan of not training Oatmeal to say things for treats, but instead to simply learn to associate words with ideas, Nichole used to ask Oatmeal "what's this" in regards to a treat, so that he'd say "Cookie". So he sometimes says "what's this" when he wants some favor, though it can be to get let out, or be groomed, instead of a cookie.
What are you doing?
- It's easy to imagine how Oatmeal managed to do enough strange things to get this said to him until he learned to say it himself.
What -
Because it's common to What's This, What's That, and What Are You doing, "what" is a generic comment Oatmeal makes when trying to get attention.
Here we go -
Said to him by Nichole when he's being given a treat. Picked it up by accident, of course.
Itty bitty pretty birdy (in a cutesy voice) -
KAZ used to pretend to make grossly cute baby-talk sounds to Oatmeal, when he didn't have anything specific to say. Of course Oatmeal picked this up, and re-arranges the four words into endless strings of nonsense.
Yeah! -
Said with great enthusiasm, in a long drawl, as if agreeing with a brilliant idea. Picked it up from various sources. Simple syncronicity ensures that he often happens to say this right it would make perfect sense with something a human was saying. "Syncronicity" is a way of saying "one of those coincidences that seems more amazing than it really is". Don't tell Karl Jung I said that.
Hi! -
Also said with enthusiasm. Picked it up from people answering the phone or greeting each other, but doesn't know what it means (unlike "hello"). Says it when the phone rings, sometimes.
Bad Bird -
Fortunately, he doesn't know what it means, but it's a spin-off of his tendency to ask every passer-by if they are a good bird.
[Baby crying] -
As predicted, Oatmeal has learned to imitate Corwin's crying.. Nichole insists that Oatmeal won't learn it well enough to fool a human, but it is reported that, when KAZ was a baby, his mother's parakeet learned to imitiate his crying well enough to send her running from the other room. If a parakeet can do this...and the same story has been heard of at least one large parrot, in that case emulated down to the intake of air between cries.

Why to Garden...

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 23:16:58 GMT

Here's about one day's output from my garden...replete with itemization. Note that ALL of the tomatoes visible are ripe, including the green ones. They are Green Zebra and Aunt Ruby's Green German, as the larger image says.

Click on the image to see a larger version with the name of each cultivar of tomato, then click that larger version to get the FULL version, with the names more legible. I should take a pic specifically of the rainbow of cherry tomatoes in front, as they're the most productive. It's a south-facing house, so they're in the sun, while the large tomatoes are somehow managing to produce the stuff shown here with only three to four hours of sunlight per day.

The Three Sisters garden is doing brilliantly, considering that I have had nothing to do with it, at all. No weeding, watered it two times with a soaker hose. I more or less forget it's outside the stockade fence in the back. I finally "remembered" it a couple of weeks ago, and discovered beans, ripe lemon cucumbers, and growing ears of corn. Because global warming has resulted in a cool, rainy summer, I was shocked that the plants were doing anything at all. All of the stuff in a three sisters garden are hot, dry weather crops.

The whole intercropping, companion plant idea seems to pay off in spades. My three gardens look like they're overgrown with weeds, yet they're each producing far beyond what one would expect from their conditions.

Half of the "weeds" are companion herbs, of course...but the other half are actually beneficial weeds, left there intentionally by me. I have not used an erg of pesticide, and yet have not had a single plant noticably hit by anything harmful at all.

The horrific japanese beetle traps the neighbors put out have once again attracted swarms of that vicious pest, but in my garden they exclusively attack the three species of tall weed I discovered they prefer, last year. I have seen one single caterpillar all summer, and it was on a weed growing among my carrots.

By the way, I've learned that lettuce does NOT thrive under the intercropping conditions to which I subjected it this year. Next time, which means next month, I'm trying less aggressive companions, and pulling the more aggressive weeds, too. I thought the same was true of carrots, as they vanished under companions and weeds, but I've discovered that they're actually thriving down there, their stems now reaching up above the other plants.

OK, when I put it that way, the lettuce did fine, too. From its perspective. It grew well and went to seed. But it was too hard to separate the leaves from its companions to harvest for salads, and it was easy to forget it's there.

Actually, I accidentally discovered that some stuff called "spinach mustard" is WAY more fun to grow for salads. It is either a hybrid of the two named plants, or is simply a mustard green that's been bred to have a texture and flavor reminiscent of spinach leaves. But it grows MUCH faster than spinach or lettuce, much LARGER than spinach or lettuce, and thrives in warmer conditions.

It's now the star of "growing greens in my garden", in my mind.

I did plant a single eggplant, that I had grown from seed, but did so in, say, June...it's still not big enough to produce fruit. I know absolutely nothing about how to grow it, so I treated it like its cousin peppers/tomatoes. Except, of course, planting tarragon near it, as that's an unusual eggplant companion I had no excuse to plant elsewhere.

Formaldehyde is Good for You!!!

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 16:50:56 GMT

Remember when Nutrasweet came out? Far more things started having artificial sweetener in it, because the stuff was so darned good for you, unlike that carcinogenous Saccharine.

But, actually, when Saccharine came out, IT was touted as good for you, heralding in the first era of low-sugar diet foods.

As it turned out, the makers had always known that Nutrasweet turns into formaldehyde at body temperature.

And, of course, Saccharine is supposed to cause cancer.

Well, NOW we've come up with a new artificial sweetener, and THIS ONE is so good for you that they don't even bother TELLING you it's in food. At least Nutrasweet always had mention of itself on the face of the label..."Contains Nutrasweet".

But I've started finding Sucralose in the ingredient list of food after food that says NOTHING about having synthetic sweeteners on the label.

It's ASSumed to be so safe that nobody need even warn you it's in their products. And a certain female member of my household was already routinely buying things for me without noticing the Nutrasweet warning...Sucralose contamination has become an irritatingly routine event at home.

Today, it was Tang. Now when I saw the new, tinier Tang containers, I immediately checked to see what was "wrong", and noticed the ugly telltale "half the sugar of fruit juice". Checked the label, and sure enough it had Sucralose sullying its ingredient list. But someone else, doing the shopping yesterday, did NOT notice that, and so I'm stuck with a can of Tang full of some unknown factor.

And I'm not going to use it.

Oh yeah, Sucralose, like Nutrasweet and Saccharine before it, is COMPLETELY SAFE for human consumption.

I think I'll wait a couple of decades before I weigh in on that. And, in the meantime, there's no reason for me to take any chances. I'm not part of the sugar-phobic hysteria sweeping the nation. Enjoy your liver damage.

Chicks Conforming to Lame Net Lingo

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 19:14:29 GMT

I've always been bugged by the abuse of "LOL" to mean "any circumstance in which I am socially acknowledging something non-negative you said" instead of actually meaning "that was humorous enough that I was at least tempted to laugh aloud".

Likewise the very use of OMG, WTF, or STFU, or any variation of the four...mostly those come across as "I can't type well enough to communicate this thought easily, so I am borrowing the nearest set of three to four letters in the struggle to get my point across".

But I've also come to notice something. Outside of the most functionally illiterate gamers and similar lamers, the abuse of those four abbreviations (none of them, by the way, are acronyms) is primarily limited to women.

Of the perfectly intelligent people who comprise most of my messenger friend lists, it's almost exclusively the chicks who constantly "LOL" anything halfway clever I say, and "OMG" any slightly unusual statement, "STFU" even trivially smartass comments, or "WTF" whenever there's the slightest erg of indignation.

I think this is a social construct; they encounter someone using that lingo, and without regard for the person's lameness they adopt what they assume is the proper netiquette. And therefore become part of the problem, not the cure.

I know sociologists claim women are more conformist than men. Parents who have both girls and boys often tell me the same thing. And women mostly vote for authoritarian politicians (as long as they're handsome), it's true.

But we've gotta draw the line, somewhere.

Reasonable Answers...

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 17:27:23 GMT

You know, there are a lot of questions out there that sound profound, or unanswerable, or ironic, that actually have perfectly reasonable, mundane answers.

"Sandwich is such a nice, convenient word, and sounds like two other words to make it feel more natural...we're so lucky that it was the Earl of Sandwich who invented it, instead of the Earl of Glauchester or something", for example.

The fourth earl of sandwich did not invent the sandwich. I mean even if the story were real. Even if he'd "invented" the sandwich, in other words, not realizing it was already used across the world, which he actually didn't do. Either way, what happened was that his name WAS convenient and familiar-sounding, and got stuck to something that people already did, that simply hadn't acquired a better-sounding name already.

And, by the way, the egg came first, because the chicken's ancestors laid eggs. Duh.

Murphy...

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 17:46:03 GMT

Have you ever:

Gone to the toilet, but discovered it had nasty stuff in it, so you flushed it (closing the lid so that imaginary particles of stuff wouldn't fly up and hit you), then sat down and started pooping, but the phone rang, and because of the flush you can't hear the talking caller ID, but you can't get up and run to the phone because you're having one of those foot-long poops that takes forever to come out, and you think "but I just pooped last night, where did all this come from", and then it's over but it was kinda soft and so you don't want to run to the phone with your butt-cheeks smearing together, so you frantically wipe, but the toilet paper isn't coming away clean fast enough, so you miss the call, and then it's a corporate number so you can't even dial the person back directly and wonder if you just missed the opportunity of a lifetime just because you need less fibre in your diet?

No?

Oh...ummm...me neither.

Progress Report:

Fri, 18 May 2007 01:42:49 GMT

Here's what's going on with my garden...reposted from the gardening list I use.

Tomato garden
Pepper garden
Pea garden
Rogue Cherry Tomato garden
Nomatic Broccoli garden
Extra Seedlings
Crazy Herbs

I had literally a forest of branches from the three storms last year, which I piled where the garden goes and burned, both to enrich the soil and to wipe out (organically) the weeds that might be hosting that damned curly top disease or the beet leafhoppers.

Having already rented a tiller for the soil there, raking the ashes into the soil was easy, and I do think it's an improvement on its overall quality.

Tomato garden

Planted the tomatoes in an expanded plot where the peppers suffered their Curly Top last year, but surrounded them with marigolds (to repel the leafhoppers), with geraniums/petunias (to serve as trap crops for the leafhoppers) outside of those.

I have thirteen tomato plants there, each a different cultivar except four standard romas. They will be caged, but with big fencing-mesh cages, not storebought ones this year. They have basil, oregano, alliums, and other companion plants growing near them, aside from the flowers. Cultivars include purple cherokee, red brandywine, pineapple, early girl, tigerella, aunt ruby's green german, speckled roma, some other strangely named roma...more I don't recall right now.

Pepper garden
The peppers go where the tomatoes thrived (or throve) last year. I'm planting them in threes, four inches separating each of the three (for humidity and to shelter the fruit, and 18 to 24 inches separating the threes from other threes. I'm arranging them in a grid, not rows, also to increase humidity. Among them I'm growing oregano, marjoram, various mints, lovage, and other companion plants, the low-growing ones should help retain a lot of humidity by providing almost complete ground cover. I'll have to walk on the mints and oreganos, which will smell nice. I have 11 in the ground so far, because I had to start my pepper seedlings over when I put them out in the sun too quickly and they died. Duh. I have 28 more that are just about ready to transplant.

I have a bunch of extra tomato plants, two of which I've planted in the chili pepper area. My mother bought a six-pack of sweet 100 cherry tomatoes, only wanted two, so I have four of THOSE I'm desperate to find sun for...I think two will go directly against the stockade fence and be helped to vine up it, the other two in containers to live the winter in the basement. The peppers are sweet banana, chocolate bell, two kinds of "giant bell", and bells of white, yellow, red, purple, and orange varieties whose names I forget. And a few non-hot jalepenos.

Pea garden
I planted snow peas along most of the rest of the south-facing part of the stockade fence. I will have a LOT of peas this year. They are being trained up the fence. As their companions, I planted spinach, lettuce, coriander, and carrots, all of which survived the late freeze except, to my surprise, the spinach. I also sprinkled wildflower seeds in any bare patches between them, especially queen anne's lace. The whole section is going along nicely, except for the struggle to differentiate between the welcome seedlings and any disruptive ones to be annointed "weeds" and pulled.

Rogue Cherry Tomato garden
My house is on a street to its south, so I'm screwed when it comes to sunlight, struggling to find patches in the back yard. So this year I decided to go ahead and plant tomatoes in the FRONT yard, too.

Yes, my mother is equally horrified, certain the neighbors will lynch me.

But not only do they seem cool with it, but I am making the patch ornamental:

I built a large tomato cage, perhaps six feet in diameter but only three feet tall, of heavy fencing mesh.

I planted cherry/mini tomatoes around it, every 18 inches or so, but each plant is a different color of tomato (black cherry, garden peach (fuzzy), green zebra, variegated, matt's wild cherry, snow white beauty, others).

Hopefully, it'll be an attractive rainbow effect, making it more decorative and therefore tolerable to the 1950s-minded pretty-lawn types.

As the tomatoes hit the top of the three feet, I will add another three feet of cage on top of it, holding them together with tall fencing stakes.

I have, to make it even more decorative, purple-leafed peppers of two types (one trifetti, the other I forget), and Dark Opal basil growing around it for decoration, along with the same anti-leafhopper flowers as the back yard, but larger and prettier versions than the cheap sixpack-plug ones in the main garden. Also have onions, chives, and carrots sprinkled at random across that whole area, with specific plantings of catnip, oregano, and chocolate peppermint for ground cover and flavor stimulation. In a spot I had left over in the triangle-shaped garden I formed for this project in the exact corner of my yard, I put a row of hamburg-root parsley, then a row of bunching green onions, then a row of dill (which is therefore, I hope, far enough from the tomatoes to not hinder their production).

Nomadic Broccoli garden
I am growing my broccoli in containers, this year, in deference to the whole sun/heat issue. I move them around the yard, into and out of the shade as needed. I have different companion plants in each of the containers, to see which seem to work best. Mostly I have nasturtiums, dill, chives, sage, pyrethrum, also a little oregano and some wild clover (supposed to be wonderful for attracting predatory insects). The broccoli plant in the biggest pot has a huge geranium, some corsican mint, and thyme. Even though that one was planted a week or two after the other broccoli (I had run out of pots), it is double the size of the others. I don't know if it's the larger pot, or that the thyme/mint/geranium combo really is helping that much.

Extra Seedlings
I still have a dozen or two tomato seedlings, the same size as the pepper seedlings, and nowhere to put them. They're an artifact of the surprise freeze; I planted them, then decided that I couldn't wait that long and mail-ordered seedlings. They include even more cultivars than the already-planted ones, like Furry Red Boar, Israeli, white beau, and ida gold. Oh, and a bunch of Mortgage Lifters, which are growing faster than any of the other seedlings even though they were the last I planted.

Crazy Herbs
And I have a whole array of bizarre herbs I mail-ordered along with the tomato plants, or grew from seed, like:

Anise hyssop: companion for my grape plants, it's a stunningly zesty licorice/mint scent and flavor
Lemon balm: more powerful in scent than any of the other lemon-X herbs.
Orange mint, lemon mint, pineapple mint, chocolate mint, corsican mint (they make Creme de Menthe from that), pennyroyal, mountain mint, mexican mint: It's amazing that they really are all as different as their names imply. The pineapple mint smells like pineapple upside-down cake.
Pineapple sage, lemon thyme, orange thyme: The latter two, along with corsican mint, are to grow along the walkway and smell nice when we trample them.
Also, over a dozen kinds of basil (licorice, lime, lemon, magical michael, lettuce leaf, thai, dark opal, holy, mrs burns, hoary, genovese, sweet, siam queen, purple ruffle, spicy globe, et cetera), and a bunch of rainbow-producing ornamental peppers.

Three Sisters garden

Perhaps thirty or forty feet long, but only ten feet wide, I planted corn (black corn, red corn, early sweet, sweety-pop, and sweet bicolor) in mounds four feet apart, like the midatlantic tribesmen are said to have done. Similarly, I've now planted cucurbits in smaller mounds between them (lemon cucumbers, armenian "cucumbers" (actually closer to melons or squash, genetically), birdhouse gourds, tsanna melons (the ancestor of watermelon), luffa gourds (the ones you boil to make luffas for scrubbing), and some generic-ish canteloupe and squash.

This weekend, I'm planting the corn seedlings I grew indoors to fill in the gaps where much of the corn didn't germinate. Then I'm planting beans (green, yellow, and purple string beans, plus a random selection from a 15 bean soup bag for fun) on the corn mounds.

I surrounded the plot with sunflowers (a-la amerindian tradition) and geranium/petunia/marigold seeds (not tribal, but each good companion plants for some two of the three main sisters), to repel specific corn/bean/cucurbit pests.

So far, the cucurbits are taking off like wildflower, the corn is really feeble (ergo the new seedlings), but I have a lot of hope for the beans.

Controlling Your Kids' Diets is Harmful...

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 22:28:45 GMT

The following is a list of references for an article on my main blog at http://blog.360.yahoo.com/kazvorpal -- I didn't want to clutter it up with a bunch of references.

Here is a tiny fraction of what I was able to find on how much to make/let
children eat for meals.

My every effort to find some saying children should not eat until they are
full failed entirely...searches like
http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&lr=&newwindow=1&safe=off&biw=1259&q=%22not+eat+until+they+are+full%22
came up with almost nothing, searches like
http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&lr=&newwindow=1&safe=off&biw=1259&q=%22eat+until+they+are+full%22+children
came up SOLELY with "children should be allowed/encouraged to eat until they
are full, no more or less"

There are some which say "satisfied", but they don't say anything negative
about "full", and many say "full or satisfied".

I was not able to find ANY counter-opinions, not even by amatures, much less experts.

Even searches intended specifically to locate articles saying parents should
control, in some or any way, how much their children eat all came up with
articles saying "parents are often concerned that their child is eating too
much, but the children must be allowed to decide how much to eat, for
themselves".

Both sites explaining how to prevent anorexia/bulemia and obesity in children
said that allowing them entirely to choose how much to eat was key.

Below are a nearly random selection, out of hundreds of articles ALL saying
that it's imperative that children be given complete control over how much
they eat (of healthy food, at meals).

http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hpfb-dgpsa/onpp-bppn/food_guide_preschoolers_e.html

> Many parents and caregivers are concerned about how much their child eats.
> For some, their concern is that the child is eating too little; for
> others, it is that the child is eating too much. Children know best how
> much they need. Parents and caregivers can help them meet their nutrient
> and energy needs by providing a variety of foods and by:

> * respecting the child's ability to determine how much food to eat;
> * offering portions suitable for the child, with options for seconds, and
>   allowing children to serve themselves when possible;

http://ianrpubs.unl.edu/foods/g1364.htm

> Appetites vary with young children as well as adults. Parents and
> caregivers need to help promote a healthy pattern of eating rather than
> using controlling techniques such as restricting food intake of heavier
> children or pressuring smaller children to eat more. Attitudes and habits
> formed during the early childhood years can help establish lifelong health
> habits.

http://www.childrensheartcenter.org/hearthealth/healthy_eating.html

> Most children are very good regulators of how much food they need. There
> is usually not a reason to count calories for them. Eating a variety of
> healthy foods will give them the nutrients they need to provide for normal
> growth and development and to maintain a healthy weight.

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/eating/messy.html

> In the case of food, the latest research indicates that children should be
> offered a variety of healthy foods and allowed to choose for themselves
> what, when and how much they will eat.
        ^^^^     ^^^ ^^^^

http://www.vh.org/pediatric/patient/pediatrics/cqqa/eatingdisorders.html

> * Children should be allowed to eat when they are hungry and allowed to
> stop eating when they are full.
(part of a list of ways to prevent eating disorders)

http://www.iusd.k12.ca.us/mp/news/schoolwide/Feb%202005.htm

> A child should learn to eat until he feels full.

http://www.cocokids.org/index.taf?id=1000997

> Help children listen to their internal controls on how much or whether to
> eat

> Let children eat until they are full or satisfied, rather than setting
> limits on how much they eat.

http://childrentoday.com/resources/articles/eat.htm

> Parents say things like, "Johnny, you have to try the broccoli, eat just a
> couple bites -- or no dessert." Or they worry because their child is
> eating too much or not drinking milk with the meal or not drinking
> anything at all. The focus shifts from providing a nourishing meal and
> having a chance to spend quality time together to controlling mealtime
> behavior. This is not healthy.

> Satter explains that overall, children need support and structure in every
> aspect of their lives. When these needs are met, children are confident
> and secure. To put theory into practice, Satter suggests allowing school
>-age children to select their own snack. You, the parent, provide the
> structure: what time the snack is served, the choices available, and your
> child chooses what to eat. Follow up by providing a regularly scheduled
> meal.

> Satter recommends avoiding criticism at mealtimes. "Studies have shown
> that children eat less and do not do as well nutritionally when they are
> catching a lot of criticism from their parents -- on any topic, not just
> eating." She reminds parents that children 6 to 10 years old are
> experimenting with food intake. "They learn that some is good, but
> enormous quantities are not necessarily any better. They learn what their
> limits are, and they make some fine adjustments in their ability to
> regulate their food intake." She cautions parents to expect changes in
> their children's appetite. Every day is different: one day they eat next
> to nothing, the next day they are ravenous.

Grapple, or Crapple?

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 01:47:24 GMT

I thought the idea of a company injecting "artificial and natural" grape flavoring into fresh whole apples sounded tasty.

But, in fact, other than a faint concorde grape smell, I couldn't detect anything different about the apples, at all.

Except that it cost five bucks for four of them.

If you come across these allegedly grape-flavored apples at the store, don't bother:

http://www.grapplefruits.com/

Fried Food Tastes Better...

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 01:01:01 GMT

One might get the false impression, from Hollywood's obsessive-compulsive taboo against anything their inductive reasoning says is not healthy, that fried foods are disgusting.

Take, for example, my rhetorical-delivery hero Jon Stewart. Occasionally, he'll mention fried food with an expression that says "the very existence of such a thing is so self-evidently horrifying that you're going to laugh without me saying anything at all". He makes it clear that mere mention of Kentucky Fried Chicken, or Pancake (and sausage) on a Stick naturally revolts everyone.

Of course, not only is he mistaken about it being objectively revolting; but in reality, fried foods tend to taste better, in cases where it's an option at all.

Chicken nuggets, pizza rolls, tater tots, and many other foods you can buy frozen used to only list deep frying as a preparation method. Then, thanks to the advent of the Microwave Oven, they began to simply say "Preferred method" for frying, because it tasted best. Then they began calling baking the "preferred method", because frying was politically incorrect...and now most of them don't even mention deep frying as an option.

But, if you're young enough to not already know this from past experience, you'll find that frying those foods makes them taste better, even though any authority-conforming tendencies programmed into you by public education may tell you that if it's not on the box, you can't do it.

Today, I'm cooking "chicken fried steak", the kind you buy premade as frozen patties, for sandwiches. Nowhere on the directions do they mention frying. You may shudder, thinking of how blah those things taste...but that's only because of the lack of frying. I'm cooking them in a Fry Daddy, and they taste quite delicious. As will the tater tots, waffle fries, or hush puppies (all pre-frozen, and directing me to bake them) that I may make with them.

"Oh, but it's still BAD FOR YOU", someone shouts.

Not really.

It'd be a mistake for me to eat them every day, as I'm moderately active and decently physically fit. Eating it occasionally is absolutely harmless to me, a normal part of a balanced diet.

It'd be positively unhealthy for a really obese person to eat them more often than rarely. But what you do one day out of many is harmless even then. The question would be whether it is actually a unique event.

But it's actually good for my skinny, extremely active kids. Especially since they get plenty of fruit, vegetables, et cetera, to balance it out overall. Growing, active kids need fatty foods to be healthy. Some mothers are actually harming their babies and toddlers by giving them skim milk, when their bodies desperately need enough fat for their development.

Even "bad" foods like deep-fried twinkies and snickers bars, invoking amused chuckles from normal, sane people and absolute conniptions of horror from trendy Left Coasters, are absolutely harmless as a rare diversion, and reputedly are absolutely delicious. You can rest assured that I will eat any such Extreme Fried Foods, if I happen to encounter them, if only as a slap in the face of the inductive-reasoning food-taboo types.

Remember, it's no healthier to be a vegetarian than not, and it limits your eating pleasures.